以下轉載自 http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/Sony-seen-reporting-first-operating/story.aspx?guid={EB93C327-1CAE-446E-818D-3F0AABA7FFDF}#comments

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element tentatively has been named... "Governmentium."

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called more-ons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has zero electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction in excess of 4 days to respond when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a restructuring in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each shuffle, so to speak, will cause some more-ons to mix with neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of more-on-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever more-ons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."... and you will know it, when you feel it!

Governmentium is a joke which involves the definition of an imaginary element. It is a satire of the bureaucracy of large government establishments in the form of a scientific description of a newly discovered chemical element.

One variant of the joke reads as follows (other variants change the number of sub-elements):

Govermentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

諷刺布希的文章....

"since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. "