以下轉載自 http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/Sony-seen-reporting-first-operating/story.aspx?guid={EB93C327-1CAE-446E-818D-3F0AABA7FFDF}#comments

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element tentatively has been named... "Governmentium."

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called more-ons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has zero electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction in excess of 4 days to respond when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a restructuring in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each shuffle, so to speak, will cause some more-ons to mix with neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of more-on-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever more-ons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."... and you will know it, when you feel it!