這是近來跟幾個朋友"談情說愛"的結果。
想一想，不如把他們也貼在這兒，與各位分享。
放在檯面上也許有很多公開思考的空間......


-----------------------------------------

愛情當然也是修行--祝福你當一個好情人

1.真的想放棄就放棄吧--忠於自己的選擇

2.能愛別人多深，跟你愛自己多深有關

你看過伊能靜的生死戀言嗎？
我以前不欣賞她，但我因為她對她老公的愛而喜歡上她。
她也因為愛了他，才發展出自愛自信可愛。很奇怪吧！
她說欣賞他喜歡他的女生那一個比我更愛他...呵呵呵
超級有自信，超級自認為能給庾幸福。

我也欣賞對她老公寫很多絕妙情詩的布朗寧夫人，現在我們談的browning布朗寧其實是女生，她的文學成就比他老公高。

3.你覺得夠了，就走開，還能做什麼就做，be honest !!!
還能做些什麼就去做。That is all !!!

4.不要再留在三心二意--要付出不付出要走不走的情況。

5.我也勸你走，因為像browning及伊能靜的人世間千百萬中才一人。
中國人大多是自殺的哭泣的撐不住的抱怨的。很少有勇者。
就這一點而言，愛情當然也是修行。當然是修行而不是當成情執這麼簡單而已。

6.另外我還想談談宇宙意識。

以下是給一個男生的信--
對了，我有個感覺一定要跟你說，我認為你之前一直說自己沒有女朋友的講話方式是個敗筆。
你從沒有好好地去面對這個感情。直到失去才說失戀。我認為宇宙意識是很清明的。
你要是公開認為她是你女友，我不認為你會失去她。
這是我觀察到而現在敏感覺知的地方。

想一想這個題目應該分開來談

另外我還想談談宇宙意識。

以下是給一個男生的信--
對了，我有個感覺一定要跟你說，我認為你之前一直說自己沒有女朋友的講話方式是個敗筆。
你從沒有好好地去面對這個感情。直到失去才說失戀。我認為宇宙意識是很清明的。
你要是公開認為她是你女友，我不認為你會失去她。
這是我觀察到而現在敏感覺知的地方。

這一篇我以英文寫作，原本只準備發表在我的英文電子報中，
但是寫到最後，這篇其實還是關於愛情與人性的思索。我便想
保留在這個關於愛情的主題之下，一起與各位分享。

我以英文寫作的一些理由就是有些主題我覺得以英文寫比較自
由，同時因為有時候是由於我的性格過於理想化的影響，因此
不太想把不普遍的觀念以中文寫出來。

而且我很懶惰--我不想把自己寫的英文作品翻譯成中文。

請原諒我保持這個形式。

ps :藍色是引用他人文句。
----------------------------------------------- 太陰


Somebody who is a married man falls in love with a younger
girl, he calls her as my Lolita.--you know who I am talking
about. Somehow it doesn't suit that metaphor at all. The
true Lolita is only 12 years old in the novel( by Vladimir
Nabokov) and the film based on the same novel. He is in the
mood as somehow beautiful immoral and unique as that movie
I think he is over indulged in the image of their love . But
he seems to lack the guts to keep their relationship. He
seeks for other masters to tell him that they are meant to be
together or keep distant. I have some opinions but am afraid
that I am not in the position to tell him. It seems that he
thinks he is the character of "Humbert Humbert". There is another
famous movie: "Damage" which cope with the similar topic-scandal
style of love affairs. From my view in reality this guy is not
as courageous as he regards himself.

Anyway I have been always too idealistic toward these love affairs.
I admire those who dares to love and bear the loss of everything
out of their scandals. And sure I admire those who can transform
their love into pure form. In between is not my style. I have
told you that I am too idealistic. I only admire people with
true courage no matter moral or immoral. I am far too cool to
endure in-between.

Jeremy Irons who plays the main role in the two movies. His
acting is brilliant.
JEREMY IRONS as "Humbert Humbert" he talks about the arts :


[Yes,it is something that happens in society. It's not something that
should be condoned or encouraged. But it's something that is.
And the arts have to shed light upon, question, cover, everything
that happens in life.]


And I have questions and opinions about this and that. I feel that
human beings are very weak with one leg in the river and keep one
leg in the bank, where are we going ? Nowhere !!!

We never know what love is and never dare to lose to love.


"I'm going to put off reading Lolita for six years, I'm waiting
until she turns 18." Groucho Marx


"It's about a man who fell in love with a dream he lost, and who
remained in love with it." Jeremy Irons

但是寫到最後，這篇其實還是關於愛情與人性的思索。我便想
保留在這個關於愛情的主題之下，一起與各位分享。

From my view in reality this guy is not as courageous as he
regards himself. I admire those who dares to love and bear
the loss of everything out of their scandals. I feel that human
beings are very weak

"It's about a man who fell in love with a dream he lost, and who
remained in love with it." Jeremy Irons

=================================================================

He chooses freely, though, and, in doing so, he is free to fall.


Really? You really think that the theme in Lolita, Damage, or the
like is about courage, guts, and love? Maybe this is addressed
in female's perspective from thier very own room with a view?

I don't know. I don't think Damge and Lolita are about love, nor
courage, not to mention morality.

Nabokov meant to defy the laws of the moral universe and test the
limits of human psychology, therefore he teased us by creating
a man whom we, at the same time, disgust and sympathy for .

It is about men's quest and struggle . The quest and struggle
could be as noble as those of Man of La Mancha's, Dream the
Impossible Dream, or could be as 八卦 as to your reminiscence
of 民進黨立委鄭余鎮先生's regretless love to 小嬋. Both of
them don't know why, but the quest has to be continue, hence
the struggle. Maybe love, maybe guts, all Christmas trees need
color lightbulbs for decoration anyway.

Yes, perhaps every hunter has his own weakness, but when confronting
with unknown intoxicating rewards along with frightful consequences -
it is simply exciting. The beauty lies in men's mind constantly
trying to rationalize and convince themselves that they can cheat
their ultimate fate.


True love has never been hand in hand with guts nor courage.
The world moves on; everything we have been drawn into eventually
becomes part of the ashes of time. Or does it?
Rememer the final scene from 花樣年華? Set in Angkor Wat as a kind of
epilogue, suggests that love, even if never fully expressed,
somehow lasts forever.

'Both of them don't know why, but the quest has to be continue, hence

the struggle. Maybe love, maybe guts, all Christmas trees need

color lightbulbs for decoration anyway.'



Yes I agree with what you say "the quest has to be continue, hence

the struggle." And the warmth from Cheng's family has to be shown for a while.

A while should be far far far enough. This is my point of view. I am an old girl and gradually give up the coldness/crulelty part of me/to myself and somehow I decide to take the role as the warmth giver for a while then get back my freedom after some effort. Freedom is more important. I don't see Cheng is as free as Jeremy Irons-his both roles. I don't think Chinese guys are as intelligent as Nabokov. They are only paper tiger.



*** I think Cheng is a man who falls into sleep.--according to The Fourth Way. I despise him but I have some little sympathy because he thinks he has been given a gifts from God. This illusion is a joke guys/women like to hold on. ***



But anyway I don't know about men no matter what their origianity are.



I even don't know about myself, that is my main issue in this life to know.

I am more interested in understanding myself.



"The beauty lies in men's mind constantly trying to rationalize and convince themselves that they can cheat their ultimate fate."

Umum I will observe it later on from all those male friends...



"True love has never been hand in hand with guts nor courage. "

Really?

Somehow I usually tell my girl friends that what we need is to have courage to love our men to have courage to feel the hurt we maybe experince later...



"The world moves on; everything we have been drawn into eventually

becomes part of the ashes of time. Or does it?"

Sure... sometimes I am tired to live. In order to live we have to struggle ...

And the sad part is that even the ashes still needs fire to form. The struggle is inevitable. We couldn't just give up. How I once wish I don't need to live to become...



"love, even if never fully expressed, somehow lasts forever."

YES ...

So I said when people have courage /guts they might transform their love into pure form. In doing so requires COURAGE too.



Nice talking to you

Casablanca大大
您好

不知道您是否願意讓我把您的回應登在我的電子報上？
細節部分:我想我會以您的暱稱署名，如果您願意提供信箱作連結，我也會將您連結上。

讀者中有了對於上一篇的回應--卻也是女性讀者，讓我想到能夠呈現異性的角度觀點激盪會很好，同時我想要登我的再度回應，沒有您文章的完整性，便太偏頗。

雖然雜記式的電子報原本就是難以避免偏頗。

登完我會將電子報的連結寄給您的站上信箱，或者您想收到一份，請在我的站上信箱留下您的e-mail。出刊後我會循例寄上。

謝謝！

愛情
一個杵在兩人世界的東西
這東西很難理解
最佳的情況是兩情相悅
而兩情相悅，真不知要羨煞多少人
現實中
卻有不少一廂情願的故事
有人說
愛人幸福、被愛是痛苦
怎麼會這樣呢
被愛是痛苦的
但這又是千真萬確的事實
只因愛人者只知一味地付出
而被愛者卻無福消受
問題出在「供需不平衡」吧
愛人者雖不斷地供給
但卻非被愛者的需求
久而久之
若不思改善
恐難善了

而什麼是愛的真諦
太陰大大應有很好的詮釋

^_^

無我大大



您的問題問倒我！呵呵

愛的真諦

我是老姑婆一個，異性朋友交得很多，戀愛談得很少。

許多論點都是與朋友激盪的呈現。

不知道為什麼，女朋友們很喜歡跟我談他們的感情世界。可能是我一副無事人的樣子？

男性朋友在婚前的時候也喜歡跟我談談心，至於婚後我都跟異性朋友們，保持適當距離。



大概是我對於他人的事情比較清醒客觀，能夠'無我'，呵呵！

人都是這樣，旁觀者清。

同時累積了太多朋友的經驗，心情，談起情說起愛好像煞有介事。



我只知道愛情是修行的一環，人生所有的欲求需要願望都是修鍊的一環。

我自忖自己還不是一個很好的情人，所以情緣還沒降臨，也可能是我在志業上的磨練更多，要先完成這些吧。



引用我給一位朋友的回信的一段跟您及大家分享

--還好這一段並沒有談到對方的私事啦





'我對於愛情的重視稍稍微小於對於修行的重視



何況別人的姻緣實在是別人的因緣



若非我把愛情當成人性的重要層面

我也不會想要許出一個愛情圓滿的佛國淨土了



只是我已經不祝福別人愛河永浴

我有我的想法

萬一弘一大師與他的雪子姑娘再度相遇

一個有志於出家

一個被人家祝福以永浴愛河

痛苦的絕對是後者

畢竟愛慾的完成不是對於每一個人都需要的

當一個人已經完成愛情的階段修行

來到另一個階段 永浴愛河豈非詛咒



願天下有情人皆成清歡眷屬



我總是多加了清歡一詞 '

既然是修行
或許順其自然是較佳的原則吧

[太陰] 是否願意讓我把您的回應登在我的電子報上？
如果您願意提供信箱作連結，我也會將您連結上。

哇，登報! 只要不是登報作廢或通緝在案， 當然都是好事!
謝謝採用。信箱 e_noggin@yahoo.com 。

但先讓我修修文法吧:
The beauty lies in our oxymoron that men's mind is
constantly trying to rationalize and convince
themselves that they can cheat their ultimate fate."
加入紅色的那三個字看來通順些。

另外回應妳所寫的:

妳認為梁朝偉哥哥，間關萬里，到吳哥窟對個樹洞發喊，
逝去的愛，難言的情，如此動心忍性，也是勇氣的表現?

勇氣? 這哪裡是勇氣? 這是衰氣。
這是麥克阿瑟講的， "老兵不死，只是凋零"。這是凋零
但成熟的衰氣。 古已有之，跟杜甫回古戰場憑弔，
李白登鳳凰台感吟一樣，不同的只是，梁朝偉哥哥用
廣東話發喊而已。
要找愛情的勇氣，要在瀧澤秀明(魔女的條件)，這種十八
歲的同學身上找，暴虎馮河，其勇銳不可擋也。

按照台北流行女性主義姊姊妹妹們的看法(如何教授,張教授
,劉教授..)台灣十八歲以後的哥哥們，被動, 軟弱,愚蠢,
自大, 尚能飯否都不知，遑論勇氣。 所以十八歲以後的
哥哥叔叔們就只好謹記政府規定的雙語教學，帶小孩
一學母語，二學英語; 自己ㄌㄟ， 對客戶們胡言亂語，
對洛麗塔軟言細語。

總統施政，都只考慮兩年後能否當選，吾輩小男人，難道還
考慮百年情意?
生活已經很累， 何必來講勇氣 ?
衰氣的去找樹洞，其它的，不過有些豪氣。

豪氣怎麼說?
找個洛麗塔，香噴噴，活生生，細嫩嫩
能在天氣好的晚上， 拉著她，


起來攜素手，
庭戶無聲，
時見疏星渡河漢。　　
試問夜如何？
夜已三更，
金波淡、玉繩低轉。
　

美不美呀? 靠的是小心的頭腦， 打獵的好奇。

吾未見勇氣也。　

Casablanca大大

哈 哈 哈 令人忍俊不住！

方才已經將電子報發出給讀者。
您稍後會收到系統給您單獨寄的一份。
--我以測試的方式，才有完整的形式。廣告部分請逕行忽略，那是屬於發信的站台。